Rachel PedersenAward-winning Social Media Strategist, viral Author, and Speaker.
Showing off the engagement ring
On April 6th, 2016, my phone looked like a strobe light. The screen was lighting up and blinking so quickly, with notification sounds dinging non-stop. My room sounded like a casino floor on a Friday night.
To be honest, at first I was alarmed that something was wrong, until I realized that a post about my small
Wedding Photography was actually going viral.
“Our love story is about to be everywhere,” I said quietly to my husband. The feelings were a mixture of fear and excitement.
It’s been just over two weeks since the post went viral. After being featured on Cosmopolitan, Glamour, TODAY Show, Huffington Post, as well as a myriad of other top publications, not to mention a repost by George Takei, the response has been overwhelming.
Have you ever received 17,000 comments on a Facebook post before? I certainly hadn’t. I braced myself for the onslaught of positive and negative responses that might be left for me to read.
Millions of women read my story, 46,000 people shared it, and 198,000 individuals agreeing and liking my post. I had become the face of a movement for women with small rings!
As I read the comments, however, I realized there was another trend of activity on my post that also caught my attention: a big-ring shaming movement, of sorts.
“To those PEOPLE who feel you need a BIG ring [you] must be very materialistic.”
“To all the girls who want a big ring good luck finding true happiness!!”
“Theres [sic] some pretty shallow people in the world today ….they actually think bigger diamonds mean something.”
And then, in less words,
“Big rings are ugly.”
There it is.
The big ring shame.
There were many who attempted to use my post as a weapon to attack women whose hands are adorned with large jewels. I even saw a video created with my story that cited “A 2014 Study Linked Bigger Engagement Rings to Higher Divorce Rates”.
It’s time for me to share my response to women with big diamonds, because you got dragged into this craziness with unkind words.
Here is my response to women with big diamonds:
I don’t think you’re shallow.
I don’t assume you’re insecure.
I don’t expect that your marriage is unhappy or doomed.
I think your ring is beautiful.
I believe that your love is bigger than your ring.
And I’m happy for you.
The success and happiness of your marriage and your life are about so much more than the ring on your finger, regardless of the size. Your husband had the funds available to buy something incredibly precious for you, as a token of his love for you.
My original statement still stands, and is completely applicable to you as well, “Wait a minute…. Since when did the size of someone’s ring become an indication of success?!”
It is my hope that you never let anyone talk down to you because your ring is big. Don’t ever waste a day being embarrassed or ashamed of your beautiful rock. Your ring tells a story of a beautiful love that changed your life forever.
My original point remains. Ring size doesn’t matter. Your love is all that matters.
I welcome you to share your own love story in the comments. St Lucia Wedding Photographer
This article is written by a member of our expert community. It expresses that member’s views only. We welcome other perspectives. Here’s how to contribute to MM EDU. This question presents itself all the time, and I’d like to try to shed some light on the subject (pun totally intended). So… let’s begin. As with any other job, we get paid for our time—but not just the time behind the camera. Truth be told, that’s only a third or so of what we put into a shoot. You have to consider that a shoot of three to four looks can take anywhere from 2 to 10 hours, depending on stylists, makeup artists, travel time to different locations, and so on. That’s not considering the time we put in before and after the shoot—which we will address in a minute. Let’s say, for example, you are paying $500 for a shoot where you get four looks, no stylist, no MUA. Just you and what you bring. Five hundred dollars and 5 hours of shooting (just to keep our math simple), works out to be $100 per hour. Not a bad gig, right? Right—kinda. It would be stellar if our work began and ended with the shoot. Before the shoot, a photographer may spend 20 minutes planning out locations, or he may spend a couple of hours. If you’ve met with the photographer beforehand to discuss the shoot, factor that in as well. Let’s keep it simple again and say that you and the photographer meet for an hour (in person or on the phone) to discuss outfits and the general plan for what you two will set out to create. You are going to shoot in the studio, so there are no locations to plan out. Now we’re at six hours of work for a five-hour shoot. – See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
This photo was part of an 8 hour session with a makeup artist, hair stylist and wardrobe stylist. After the session another 4 hours were spent in post production to get the image ready for print.
After the session, we have to go through the images and not only select the best out of hundreds of shots, but also edit them. Editing doesn’t always consist of spot-removing blemishes, often times it is more about alterations in color and exposure of the shot. Those things are vital. I will say things like “basic edits” throughout this article and when I do I’m generally referring to things like proper retouching techniques that preserve image integrity not a system of plugins or actions. Automated systems of image manipulation often leave damage that render the file unusable for high-end commercial work. Proper basic retouching does take longer and there aren’t many good shortcuts. We won’t even address the advanced methods, I don’t believe there is an accurate way to break down the time involved.
That said, I usually spend at least another 4-5 hours selecting and performing basic edits. So again, to keep things simple, let’s say five more hours of work.
Now we are at 11 hours of work for a shoot that took half as long. This brings the rate down to about $45.50 per hour. That is still a nice paycheck but definitely a hefty cut.
Now let’s consider the fee the photographer has to pay for the studio that you get to enjoy the comforts of. For the rent and utilities in a small office, $1,500 per month is a generously low statement. At that rate, in an average month of 30 days, it would cost $50 per 8-hour day just to open the door of the studio. That takes out another $6.25 per hour, putting us at $39.25.
This photo was from a 2 hour session. After the session it took an hour to select the best images, and another 30 minutes to retouch this shot. – See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
Basically, the photographer has made $450 and given up 11 hours of his day. But wait, he had to hire an assistant for 5 hours at $10 per hour. Make that $400. If we work that out really quickly, we see that $400 for 11 hours of work drops our rate down to just under $30 per hour. We can plug that into a standard 40-hour workweek over the course of a full year, and it brings us to an annual salary of $62,400.
At first glance, it seems like a lot. Honestly it is… before self-employment tax, health insurance, liability insurance, and equipment insurance. In 2011, the self-employment tax is 13.3%. That instantly takes $62,400 down to $54,100. Nearly a $10,000 hit just for being our own boss!
Taxes and general business expenses are well beyond the intention of this post—so let’s end there with them.
This photo was from another 2 hour session. It took at least 4 hours to scout and secure this location before the shoot, and an additional 2 after the shoot to select, retouch and upload to the client. – See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
A lot of photographers will justify the cost of a shoot by the expense of their equipment. I’ve seen comments like this:
“How much a photographer spends on the equipment he or she uses to shoot the model should not affect how much you charge a model. It is not our fault you spend so much on your equipment.”
I guess in a way you are right. However, you are most certainly benefiting from the expenditure. After all, my main camera alone cost near $8,000 without the lenses. Without the camera, we would both just be looking at each other for a few hours. The quality of the equipment with which you are being photographed does matter. If the photographer is shooting you with a 6-year-old base model digital SLR like the Digital Rebel and a kit lens, you are going to get a good photo that will work pretty well
for an 8 x 10 or a comp card. But the photographer most likely will not be able to submit your images to any publications, stock agencies, ad agencies, etc. The demand for high-resolution, high-quality images is simply too great today to be able to get away with less.
If the photographer is using a mid- to pro-level camera and top-quality glass, the game changes. Suddenly, that image can go anywhere it needs to, and you don’t need to be concerned about quality or usability in various media.
30 minutes to set up the lighting, 15 minutes to get the right shot, 20 minutes for retouching. – See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
Yes, of course, the costs of doing business and the upgraded equipment are all a factor in what the professional
Wedding Photography will charge. However, what you are really paying for are the years of practice it takes to make the images that you receive possible. Not to mention the sheer talent that many photographers bring to the table. Creativity has value. We are the best at what we do, and we charge what we deserve to make.
Sometimes there are no large expenses on a shoot. Sometimes you don’t use anything but a camera and the sun. No assistants. No stylists. Shoots like that will definitely affect where the photographer allocates funds in their business, but it’s unlikely that it will affect the bottom line. In fact on a commercial invoice those items are usually billed separately from the photographer’s fee.
Now let’s address the amount of photos you get back from the shoot. A 3-to-4-look shoot generally nets about fifteen good photos, five great ones. That really is not many, I know. This is where the model really needs to give up and trust the photographer. People make mistakes. Maybe in one shot the model was not quite right in his pose, or maybe the photographer didn’t get the angle he was looking for. Either way, you are building a portfolio and should include only the best options.
“Why not give me a CD and let me choose the photos I want to use?”
Good question. YOU are the one in the
Wedding Photography, and everyone is overly critical of himself. Often, other people will have an open and unbiased opinion of what looks good and what does not, not to mention the fact that established photographers already know what the agencies are looking for because they have probably worked with them before. The photographer’s choices give you an advantage because now you have the best shots—already geared towards the agencies you are hoping to reach.
20 minutes to build the set, 30 minutes to set up the lighting, 1 hour shooting, 1 hour retouching. – See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
“I already paid for the shoot. Now I have to pay for prints?”
Absolutely, unless it was a TFP shoot. Prints cost us to produce, which results in a cost to the model.
“What is TFP?”
I still don’t see what the big mystery is about this. TFP means “time for prints.” The photographer gets your time, and you get a set number of prints. The photographer’s payment is the fact that you came; your payment is some photos. TFP is usually used only by people just starting out; however, some photographers will consider TFP based on the model’s potential or a concept they want to create and need volunteers for.
Personally, the only time I do TFP is when someone has an idea that inspires me. I do not pay models for their time. They have more to gain than I do at this point. I realize that sounds arrogant, but it is true. An established photographer is already making a living, as is an established model. There has to be a very good reason to give out time for free when I can be paying my bills instead. Generally speaking, the photographers who offer you a CD of your shoot free-of-charge have not been in this business very long. You each need the help of the other party.
Not including the flight to California, this shot took 8 hours to scout for before the shoot. 2 hours of shooting and about 30-40 minutes for basic retouching. – See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
Having worked both sides of this industry, I know that sometimes it does not seem to make sense. Ask yourself this though: If Michelangelo painted a portrait of you, would you question why the price of the piece is so high? No – because no one else could paint like him, and as the saying goes:
Wedding Photography “you get what you pay for.” Of course we have expenses and those are often far higher than what people expect. Yes, they do play a role in what we charge, but in the end you are paying the photographer because of their visual style and what they can do for your career.
The images you take for your portfolio are an investment in your future as a model. If you are serious about modeling, then it is time to start looking at it like a business. You are the product, and you need amazing images to sell that product to its fullest potential. The bottom line is that regardless of what we charge, if you don’t have enough faith in yourself to invest in your dream, why would anyone else?
– See more at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/education/photography/291-why-do-professional-photographers-charge-so-much?
Event for Travel Agents and Wedding Planners Showcases Saint Lucia as an Ideal Backdrop for Destination Weddings
From September 23 – 27, 2015, Saint Lucia hosted a roster of wedding experts during the third annual “LOVE Elevated” Wedding Photography. Island resorts and hotels provided a variety of savings such as discounts of up to 50 percent off and rates starting at US $75 per night for attendees. Special offers include complimentary breakfast and all-inclusive options.
Priced at US $250 per person, the five-day Symposium includes all seminars, social events, site inspections and transportation from select hotels. For a complete schedule and more information, visit http://www.stlucia.org/wedding-symposium/
New this year, a panel of real brides who were married on the island sha Wedding Photography their destination wedding experiences and first-hand advice with attendees. Noted speakers address the latest trends and topics ranging from “What’s New and Trending in the Industry,” “Using Social Media to Enhance Destination Weddings and Increase Sales,” to “Why Saint Lucia” and “Surviving a Destination Wedding,” providing insights to planning and hosting the perfect wedding on the island.
Panelists and speakers include Michelle Myers, chief revenue officer and publisher of BRIDES, David Beahm, founder and president of David Beahm Design, Alan Berg a contributing Education Guru for WeddingWire and Andrea McDowell, the founder and managing director of the wedding videography company Shoot it Yourself.
The festivities include unique wedding venues and hotels around the island, a showcase of island wedding vendors, and the opportunity for attendees to observe a sunset wedding aboard the Pearl Tall Ship. A picturesque sunset cruise and cocktail reception from the southern side of the island will provide attendees views of the iconic UNESCO World Heritage Pitons. To round-out the weekend activities, Coconut Bay Beach Resort & Spa provided a wedding experience presenting the Platinum and Pearl wedding packages and two new beachfront wedding venues.
Lodging packages from participating hotels and resorts included:
Bay Gardens Beach Resort & Spa – Reduit Beach, Rodney Bay
50 percent off Deluxe Garden View rooms and 40 percent of all other room categories
For more information call 1-877-620-3200, email info@baygardensresorts.comor visit www.baygardensresorts.com
Bay Gardens Hotel – Reduit Beach, Rodney Bay
50 percent off Deluxe Garden View rooms and 40 percent of all other room categories
For more information call 1-877-620-3200, email info@baygardensresorts.comor visit www.baygardensresorts.com
Bay Gardens Inn – Reduit Beach, Rodney Bay
50 percent off Deluxe Garden View rooms and 40 percent of all other room categories
For more information call 1-877-620-3200, email info@baygardensresorts.comor visit www.baygardensresorts.com
blu, Saint Lucia – Reduit Beach, Rodney Bay
Travel Agent rates are $75 per night for single rooms and $90 per night for double rooms
Attendee rates are $95 per night for single rooms and $100 per night for double rooms
Standard rates are $110 per night for double rooms and $150 per night for triple rooms
For more information about the island of Saint Lucia, call 1-800-456-3984, 1-888-4STLUCIA or visit http://www.stlucia.org/.
About Saint Lucia
One of the Windward Islands of the West Indies’ Lesser Antilles, Saint Lucia (pronounced Saint LOO-sha) is nestled halfway down the Eastern Caribbean archipelago. The “Helen of the West Indies,” Saint Lucia is known for its natural beauty and diverse attractions, including the signature Piton Mountains – a UNESCO World Heritage Site – a tropical rainforest and one of the world’s few drive-in volcanoes. Culturally rich offerings include the bustling marketplace in the capital of Castries, quaint fishing villages along the coastline, and the annual Saint Lucia Jazz festival. Saint Lucia’s wide range of accommodations includes world-class five-star resorts, all-inclusive resorts, intimate inns and value-oriented properties. Saint Lucia also is home to world class cruise and yachting facilities.
Not convinced about having a destination wedding? Locations like St Lucia provide memories to last a lifetime, but don’t take our word for it. Here are the top 10 reasons to have a destination wedding from the Huffington Post.
You can say “I do” anywhere! A destination wedding is defined as marrying at least 100 miles from where the bride currently lives. So imagine the options that definition opens up for you — the world really is your playground.
You’ll stand out from the pack. More than 2 million American couples wed every year — and fewer than 25 percent of them have destination dos. Bonus: Wed away, and you won’t have to choose from the same old hometown spots all your friends have booked.
It’s easier. Many wedding-worthy resorts offer free planning help to couples, whether the event is for two or 200, and an abundance of packages keep things simple while still giving options to customize. Want something more involved? Turn to an independent planner who specializes in more elaborate events.
You can save on decor. With a destination wedding in a stunning setting, your location of choice supplies the theme, from castle fairytale, to sea-inspired soiree. And when you choose an amazing backdrop, it doesn’t take much to dress it up. Opt for a pristine beach, a tidy vineyard, a blooming garden or a historic plantation house furnished with graceful antiques, and you’ll be more than covered with a few simple florals and other modest accents.
Enjoy quality time with loved ones. The standard wedding lasts for five hours, and the bride and groom spend most of that time running from table to table, trying to say hello to everyone. A destination do spans a minimum of three days — which means, now that you’ve finally gotten your nearest and dearest together, you can actually spend quality time with them! Hooray!
It’s a great excuse to limit the guest list. The very nature of destination weddings — they require travel, a longer time commitment and hotel stays — gives you the perfect excuse to cut down on an often unmanageable number of invitees. Think the second cousins and office mates will be miffed? You can always throw a post-wedding party — complete with plenty of photos — when you get back home.
Guests can save on a vacation. Ask your host hotel about discounted room rates for your guests; most resorts are more than willing to bargain in exchange for group business. Some airlines, such as United and American, offer discounted airfares for groups of 10 of more — on the latter, this is true even if your guests are departing from different gateways. And ultimately, your friends will have a blast! Destination weddings give friends and family that most valuable commodity: downtime — to kick back, connect and celebrate. And what’s more fun than that?
You’ll share a locale you love. Part of the joy of a destination wedding is showing off a place that has special meaning to you, be it bringing friends and family back to a beloved college campus, sharing where you took your first vacation as a couple or finally going to a locale you’ve always dreamed of visiting.
Flexible timing helps with budgeting. You’ll be at your destination for a few days, so work with your vendors to see how timing can trim costs. After all, if everyone is already there, you can wed on a Friday, a Sunday or even a Tuesday — what does the day of the week matter in paradise? Look at seasonality too. Many Caribbean hotels drop their prices dramatically in mid-April; by planning your wedding for May, you can get the same great digs for a fraction of the price paid by visitors a few weeks earlier. Likewise, mountain resort towns offer big savings in spring and fall.
You can start the honeymoon early. Just arriving at your destination is sure to put you in a relaxed mood as the pre-wedding festivities begin. Many hotels offer automatic upgrades to the bride and groom on their wedding night, and you may be able to negotiate an extended mini-moon at a reduced rate after the guests have gone home.
