By Kendall Burton
Until 2001 in St Lucia, the most I’d ever done online was check my email. I’d just got back from Dominica – recovering from a break-up of a 6 year relationship – a place I usually went to, to escape from the stress in my life. I’d come home from a particularly hard day at work one Friday night and after my usual after work beer, sat down in front of my laptop to check my email, only this time instead of logging off as I usually did, I stayed on and decided to take a tour of the world wide web and see what all the fuss was about.
I checked out a few random websites, entered a few random chat rooms, discovered and downloaded MSN messenger and engaged random strangers in meaningless banter. In one particular chat room I encountered a really annoying girl who apparently ticked off everybody in the room. I was really amused by some of the jeering, but one particular chatter got my attention with her wit and sarcastic skill. Cinnabonn. We began chatting in private and exchanged information. I didn’t hear from her again for months, until late one night when she popped up on my messenger. We began a conversation and the process of getting to know each other.
I would not know this until much later but it turns out that that night was her first outing on the net as well. She had just established an email address and just like me was scouting the net. She was fresh out of De La Salle University in the Philippines where she’d studied psychology so she had time on her hands and I determined to have her spend as much of it with me. The same wit and charm that drew me to her in the first place kept me spellbound for hours on end. The 12 hour difference between our countries meant in order for us to talk one of us would have to be up late, but it never mattered.
As our friendship grew so did our fondness for each other and our curiosity along with it. We decided we had to meet each other and so we decided we would meet in Australia in 2005 but before that could happen, our online time had doubled and it wasn’t long before we began to develop feelings for each other well.
She consumed my every thought day and night and was online every chance I got. We began exchanging letters and cards. The long late night online chats turned into long late night phone calls. Almost daily there were cards and photos, gifts, books, CDs, in my mailbox. At one point we even exchanged items of clothing just so we’d each have something of the other’s. She began keeping an audio diary and I would fall asleep every night with the sound of her voice telling me about her day.
We decided we couldn’t wait until Australia or 2005. I wanted to meet her now and decided to go to the Philippines, she decided to come to Saint Lucia and we argued back and forth about who would go where for months until she called and announced that her ticket was paid for and I had no choice.
Being from a very traditional culture and family background I had to formally write to her mother seeking permission to court her daughter. The wait for a response was long and agonizing. Finally a response came, via phone call, granting permission for the courtship and for her daughter’s trip
The day of her arrival was torturous. Her flight was delayed by several hours and I could into get any information from the airline, so that a flight which should have arrived just around noon didn’t arrive until late into the night. By this point the anxiety and fretting had made me physically sick and I had to go home to lie down. I hadn’t been there very long when the phone rang. It was her. She was here.
My heart was racing as the taxi drove to the airport. I think must have got the oldest slowest taxi driver because the ride took forever. I couldn’t wait to see her. I got out of the car and she was sitting there clad entirely in jeans, with her black boots. Our eyes met and she smiled and stood up to meet me. We hugged and it felt like we’d never been apart. Almost a year went by and she was still with me.
I decided any woman who could put up with me that much and for that long was special and I should hang on to her
She had begun writing an advice column in the Voice newspaper and so I met and arranged with the Editor to place my proposal in the paper in the guise of a letter from a reader seeking her advice. That Saturday we went grocery shopping as usual and I kept the ring in my pocket the whole time.
We got home and we sat down and she hogged the paper as she usually did so that I wouldn’t complete the crossword before she could. She began flipping through the paper and as she got to the page with her column a puzzled expression appeared on her face. She’d realized that the letter was different from what she’d submitted and began reading. She’s always said that she wouldn’t marry me unless I learned to speak her language and so my proposal was entirely in Filipino.
A smile came to her face as she read it and she broke out in laughter. She hugged me tight and said “yes”. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring box and placed it on her finger. We got married in August 19th. That was six years ago. It seems longer. It has been six years of adjustments and challenges but six years of discovery and reward that I would not trade for anything. Not only did I find a life partner in St Lucia, but I found my best friend and I look forward to every day with her and to growing old with her, because I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather share my life with.
